The values I highlight on this site have emerged out of a period of soul searching and reconsideration of my trajectory and goals, as I enter the second “half” of my life.
They are an attempt to distill and simplify my guiding principles that are encoded in my Mission Statement, a document that has held true for a very long time, but is quite verbose!
A phrase popped into my head recently, that seems to have taken root, as a way of expressing my goal for myself, and my work. I’ve been holding that as my 2026–27 vision (following the Southern Hemisphere timing of the Sabbats).
The phrase: “I want to live in a kinder, gentler place…”
This has a two-fold meaning for me.
The first is that I am emerging out of a period of deep inner trauma and turmoil. To set the scene:
In 2018, my life partner decided to end our marriage, unexpectedly.
In 2019, we had a period of intense bushfires in the Blue Mountains region, that went on for months. We had cars packed ready to evacuate for weeks on end.
In Jan 2020, we had significant floods in our local area that wrought havoc with transport—roads and rail.
In Jan 2020, my (new) partner was involved in a serious car accident that nearly killed her. It was a 2+ year journey to recovery. I was primary carer while also holding down a full-time role, which was very stressful due to the impacts of COVID on the business.
In Feb 2020, COVID shut down the world. We all know what that felt like and the trauma and challenges that it unleashed within society.
In Jun 2020, my mother moved into a nursing home, which was intensely emotional for her, and me, and I was unable to be there with her due to COVID.
In Jul 2020, my mother passed away. I was by her side, thankful for a brief reprieve in the cross-border travel restrictions that allowed me to be there.
In May 2021, I was able to travel again and put my Mum to rest, fulfilling her wishes for having her ashes distributed at-sea, off the coast of Caloundra.
In that same trip, I started my transition journey in earnest, presenting publicly as female on the trip. I introduced my(new)self to Mum at the headland where we’d held her ceremony earlier in the day. I spent a few days in Bellingen as Grace, publicly, for the first time. That 3-day return journey culminated in a day in Sydney, where I got my first real outfit, and sat down at Circular Quay experiencing such euphoria, it was the moment I worked out, felt deep in my bones, I was Grace all along.
In Jul 2021, my dog of 10+ years passed on.
In 2022, I was tasked with managing two major projects at work—the culmination of years of work and skills and career development. Yet in what should have been a “victory”, I was lumped with a key supplier who gaslighted me constantly and failed to deliver—claiming that they were dedicated to our project, but later conceding they’d spent less than 1/3rd of their time on the project. I was rendered powerless to change the situation, by decisions and limitations placed on my by “the powers that be”. I felt my reputation was being dragged through the mud, with the board and in the industry, as a result.
The company, in which I was now an executive, nearly went bust due to COVID-related chip shortages, and I was unable to achieve any of the major goals and vision I had for the product and projects I was responsible for. As someone who prides themselves on delivering high-quality work, this whole scenario was incredibly distressing at a personal level. The budgets that had been agreed to do the work never materialised, but I was expected—somehow—to deliver anyway. I would present revised budgets that were slashed in half without my knowledge or agreement, without any concessions relating to was expected to be delivered.
In 2022, I started the journey towards “bottom” surgery. I was having to jump through hoops and spending thousands of dollars getting psychiatric and psychologist evaluations as part of my surgeon’s adherence to outdated WPATH guidelines. Traveling to Melbourne for 15 minute consults with no physical examination (i.e. no reason to have to physically be present at all, but at the cost of $1000–1500 per trip for flights and accommodation), with very limited support to work through all the complexities. I was constantly on tenterhooks, with a deep sense that at any point someone in the system was just going to put a cross next to some arcane criteria and block my progression.
In Oct 2023, I had my surgery. This, in itself, was huge emotionally. But to pile on top—there were post-op issues that resulted in an ambulance trip, dehumanising emergency department visit, waiting over 10 hours for a room, and ultimately being diagnosed with PTSD due to the trauma of the experience.
In Jul 2024, there were major upheavals at work that put even more pressure on me as a leader within the team. I can’t even begin to articulate—and frankly, probably shouldn’t expand further.
In Nov 2024, Trump. The anti-trans movement hitting full swing. There’s a whole other story here—but suffice to say, this shift in politics, and it’s worldwide impacts both socially and economically, have weighed heavily upon me.
In 2025, I left my job to move into a much smaller role within a much larger company, grateful for the buffer between me and big decisions and responsibilities. But, this brings with it the challenges of being a small cog in a big machine—which, for someone with my personality, is intensely confronting. And, its a place where, for the first time in 20 years, I am not contributing my professional capacity directly to the fulfilment of my values.
As my psychologist once said to me, any one of the events I experienced between 2020–2023 would be enough for years of work for most people. And yet I expected myself to just carry on and keep productive, keeping the lights on at home in what is essentially a single-income household, and supporting my partner as she builds her own business.
I hold myself to high standards, but it seems that all of the things, all at once, was all a bit much!
All of this has created something of an existential crisis. Why am I even here? What am I doing? What’s next?
And it’s taken quite a bit of inner work to work through and untangle it all.
And that is one way that the phrase resonates: I want to live in a kinder, gentler place internally.
I need to find a definition of “success” in a smaller place—something that has emerged from deep and caring conversations with dear friends and mentors. The wise-ones in my life.
To quiet the inner storm.
To let go of the anger, frustration, and resentment that has built up.
To bring a gentler spirit to my inner voice.
To care for myself. Be kinder to myself. To be kinder to others.
To get back to the person I feel I’ve lost through all of that trauma and turmoil in recent years. To return to the kind, gentle, supportive, caring, listening, person that I feel myself to be.
The second meaning is as a grounding for how I exist and what I want to bring about in the world.
For years I’ve bought into the idea of social ventures and business as a force for positive change. To apply my interest and passion for entrepreneurship—to create the things I wish existed—and apply that to bringing about a more sustainable world.
As my mission statement says:
Do meaningful work, helping bring about a world where success is gauged by true wellbeing—contemplative time, community, health, connection to spirit—rather than economic growth.
Create services that empower people to live better everyday lives in a more sustainable way. Where the sustainable option is the ‘easy’ one. Build things that last beyond me, where my values live on, without my direct long-term involvement.
I’ve held onto a “big picture” idealism and vision/goal of having an outsized impact by creating a successful venture that “moves the needle”and exists beyond me. Right now, that energy is directed towards change in the energy sector, which is the single biggest carbon emitter in the country, and where my skills in digital technology and behaviour change intersect with commercial and career outcomes. But this has been a long-time vision and belief.
And, in the meantime, we have Trump, Hanson and co whipping up moral panics around trans people, immigrants, people of colour, and “woke” politics. Effecting decades of damage in mere months, destroying important institutions, rolling back the limited gains we’ve made towards the renewable energy transition. One person, voted in by less than 1% of the world’s population, wreaking havoc around the globe. I know of major programs of work towards EV infrastructure that disappeared virtually overnight, once Trump was voted in.
But the bigger, more frightening and disappointing aspect of all this, is the cultural wars, pitting underserved communities against each other.
I saw this quote on Instagram this morning, from Joe Strummer, years ago:
People are out there doing bad things to each other. That’s because they’ve been dehumanised. It’s time to take the humanity back into the centre of the ring and follow that for a time. Greed, it ain’t going nowhere.
Amen to that, brother.
So, I think that my focus is shifting. Away from that big-picture “make a dent” framing and mindset, and—again—finding “success” in a smaller place.
In creating the things I wish existed.
In dragging myself out of this angry, resentful, frustrated place and bringing a kinder, gentler, supportive energy into my personal and inter-personal relationships.
To focus on this part of my mission statement:
I use my freedom—of choice, of action, of financial resource—to assist those that do not have such freedoms. I respect and seek to empower others so that our relationship, however small, helps us each grow.
I want to live in a kinder, gentler place.
I am doing the inner work to find that within myself.
I am carrying that into my outer work—bringing my productive capacity and my time, societal position and financial resources to help bring about this for others.
I don’t entirely know where this will all land for me. How it will manifest. But the shift is notable. And I wanted to share it—as a “work in progress,” a nascent, not yet fully formed thought.
Naming it, owning it… that, alone, feels important.